Dance music to the indie dudette?

I'm annoyed. No really, you don't understand, you're not listening.

~Well ok, not proper annoyed, but annoyed enough to start a blog and thats pretty fucking annoyed. I've just read another amazing review on the internet (for do me bad things but thats irrelevant) and its just so good. Its so articulate- in a different way to some of the Darling ones that have been depressing me so much, but its still articulate in a clutish, insolate way that says fuck-the-english-language, I'm doing this my way, with or without George Bernard Shaw.

I have to admit when I started loading my blogger, I was a bit angrier. But alot of my anguish has been diluted by the Mylo album Tom donated to my cause (as well as the stagnancy of dial-up). I'm on the next release at the moment which samples Waiting for a Star to fall, and I think theres a bass line from an old Rod Stewart track too. You may say great, Waiting for a Star again? But its done in a much better way than that piece of trashy euro-pop scuff. And I like the original song- its nearly as good as We built this city on Rock and roll by Jefferson Starship (note the "and" no " 'n' " between rock and roll- thats the kind of record it is.), which coincidentally, someone really should sample. Anyway, Mylo's track is so fucking sunny. Thats probably influenced by the fact I saw the video today which looked like a Levis ad on some sort of Clockwork orange panic attack case of steroids, but its still such a sunny song. I think it must be the way he's elongated the riff with synths, which gives it a quality reminiscent of some recent euro-trash hits. (DJ Sammi and all that shite) Thats not a bad thing though in Mylo's case, its ironic doncha know.

Anyway, good album. I can see why it did well review wise. I have difficulties listening to dance music and judging it. I mean how do you judge dance? as to whether you want to do its namesake? or whether its got good production values - whatever they are. I mean there are levels of blandness in the Mylo album. and there are dance tracks I prefer. While I appreciate the symplicity and he's got a great grasp of balance, I usually like a bit more noise and craziness a la Basement Jaxx and E talkin. How do you judge electro?

However, I love the vocal samples he's used. Especially the one in track two about shaking drugs. It just shows a brilliant grasp of whats interesting to the ear.

Cher is on my television.....Hang on.....Mind melt.

She's gone. I'm ok. It was an advert for some All Woman compilation. I'm not sure they should put that on before the watershed.

Anyway, dance. My problem is that I go to a club. I then dance for 6 hours, usually with not a drop of booze of drugs inside me (I know, yeah I get it, I do it because I CAN. I'm taking twice as big a risk as drugtakers, socially anyway), and then I go home. I don't care what I dance to. I mean don't get me wrong, I notice whats on and I do judge whats played to me and make a note of whats good and whats shite, but I don't bound up to the DJ and ask what he's playing every thirty seconds all tits and teeth. Its just not for me. I'd never get any damn dancing done.

On a bit of a hop of topic, the Do Me Bad Things review does have a damn good point. While the glam rock adventure (I wouldn't call it a revival) is damn good fun, its music values are appalling. I mean what did the Darkness do? Were they any good. This would seem an obvious place for me to trot out my "flash in the pan" theory which I've been shouting everywhere since I first heard Black Shuck. And then after I Believe in a... was re-released, I suddenly saw colleagues whose musical knowledge was contained in the left heel of their obligatory all-stars going berserk about the Darkness. Its a great track. And I think it embraces alot of greatness that they didn't do, but surely at the end of the day, its a great pop song. By a pop band. With good branding to persuade those who think Mojo is the thing Austin Powers misplaced, that its subversive. They don't notice that its everywhere. Which is fine cos its fun, but surely it presents a problem for the band.

Their first album was a celebration of glam-rock; a Bolan-Ziggy-Biba-Iggy Pop-Mudd nightmare of showyness, bravado and of a sheer lack of forward planning. Because now the question has to be asked, well done boys but where the fuck do you go from here? While the Scissor Sisters are suitably massive, they're campness is actually genuine. Shit, they are actually largely gay. And they're from the Big Apple- they must be cool and fringe and subversive. It helps that their image doesn't influence their songs. I mean sure there's some serious choral work going on, and some '70s funk on certain tracks, but you feel the album would essentially be the same if they'd happened to dress like Adidas pin-ups. The Darkness' sound is dictated by Justin's catsuit. They are Rock with a capital W, and that leaves them with nowhere to go. While the Scissors may also proves to have reached their peak, at least they have respect as a songwriting unit to pull themselves out. Their androgenous image means that they can also use that to metamorphosise into something else if they like. Darkness? They're stuck. They're glam forever. And there aren't even any drugs around for them to get away.

getting back ache now. aren't i old. next time.